Monday, November 3, 2014

I Will Not Lose My Virginity On My Wedding Night

GASP! I bet that blog title caught your attention. :O

But do not fret! Read the following and it will all make sense. Pinky promise!

Note: This is not a judgmental, pointy finger at those who didn't wait for marriage. Virginity does not determine salvation. Rather, this is a post to share why I chose the path that I did. So please, do not read this in a condemning tone. I simply want to share how I came to my decision.
So, sex is everywhere. Music, TV shows, heck even some PG-13 movies have me blushing and averting my eyes.

But, sex is not a "bad" thing. From the perspective of my religious beliefs, sex before marriage is something that should be strongly avoided. Not because God made it a heaven or hell rule-but because God knows what is best for us. Immense heart-break? Unwanted pregnancy? STDs? God does not want us to endure the earthly consequences of premarital sex.

So again, sex in the context of marriage is NOT bad. It is good, because that is what God intended it to be. Holy, faithfully, and fruitfully good.

Genesis 2:24, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Historically, virginity has been a prized quality. It was the epitome of a woman's virtue-pure and untouched. But if you Google "virginity" you will not find any of those words in the links that fill your screen.

"How to Lose Your Virgnity Wihtout Pain"

"Virginity: A virtue or a curse?"

"13 Celebrities Reveal How They Lost Their Virginity"

"Virginity Lost, Experienced Gained"

….I know what you're thinking, HUH?

Virginity shifted from something you hold on to dearly, into something you should get rid of as soon as possible. According to those articles, loosing your virginity is a step in life that everyone takes. Or, being a virgin holds you back from experience and knowledge. Even, being a virgin is "ridiculous".

A few days ago, someone called me a "stone cold virgin". I was shocked and did not know how to rebuttal. I love kissing my boyfriend! I love hugging him and cuddling up during a movie. But according to this person, I was unable to show real affection because I wasn't having sex. In this person's eyes, I am a prude.

God says, "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor." -1 Thessalonians 4:4

He calls us to be set apart. He is not saying it is going to be easy, but He wants us to try and be different. He wants us to avoid the possible earthly consequences. It is a one time gift, so why would we want to lose it?

Years ago, I made a promise to myself and to God that I would honor His instructions. I would heed His guidance and give my virginity to my husband. It has not been easy, but it has been worth it. I know that if I stick to this, I will be able to enter my marriage with a gift, rather than a regret. (I'm not saying all people who have premarital sex regret it. I am simply saying that in my life, I would regret it.)

So that is why, on my wedding night, I will not be losing anything. I will be giving my most precious gift to my husband. I will honor my husband's commitment of "till death do us part" by giving myself to him. I won't regret it. I won't wish I had "practiced" or gained "prior experience".

There will be no shame, no secrecy, and no heartbreak.


  1. Yes sir, that's my beautiful (and wise) grand daughter speaking the Lord's words, this is one humble and proud grandma.

  2. Love this! Great article! Blessings to you and your man! xoxo